Kenya Here I Come

This is something I wrote for the Maisha blog. You can keep up with me every day in Kenya at www.wholeworldheart.blogspot.com
As a mother of a 3 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old, you would think Africa was the last thing on my mind- and many days, that is the truth. Its funny how motherhood, such an ultimate calling, alters our lives in so many ways. Even when a motherly bond is formed between a woman and someone who needs her, that woman is never the same. In the midst of the chaos and joy in the 4 years since I started having my own children, I began to wonder how I would ever serve in missions, which is what I felt was my true calling. In March of 2009 my husband had the opportunity to travel to Ecuador with a medical mission team. I lived through his fundraising and preparations vicariously but the reality was that he was going and I was not. I was 3 months pregnant with our 3rd child and my girls, aged 2 and 9 months, were both sick. I would have liked to say I spent that week interceding for my husband and the team he was on, but the reality is I was cleaning up after two sick kids and just trying to make it through each day without the much missed help from my husband. It was at this point that I stopped romanticizing the call to missions. For those of us who long to serve internationally, it can be heartbreaking to feel immobile. However the reality is that when we are called, God makes a way. When my husband returned from Ecuador, I began to question my call to missions. I searched desperately for what God was calling me to do. I half-heartedly volunteered for various ministries and focused most of my prayers on begging the Lord to reveal my purpose in life. In hindsight this is almost comical if it wasn’t so tragic. The tragedy was not God’s silence, but the degree to which I neglected to listen to what He was saying. Thankfully, God is the source of patience, understanding, love and wisdom. Through more than a year of pursuing my heart and providing me with a lot of loving guidance, the Lord has not only affirmed my purposes but completely changed the way I view my relationship with Him and the way I view my multifaceted calling. In 6 days I’ll be in Kenya. In 6 days I’ll be in Kenya exactly when the Lord intended me to be there, and by His grace, I’ll be there to offer things that I could not have offered until now. In 6 days, my children will miss me but they will remember the Christmas gift they gave to orphans by sharing their mommy and their things with children who have neither of those. In 6 days, God will break my heart for His children at Maisha International Orphanage in a way that only a mother’s heart can break. As Americans we sometimes get this twisted idea that what we have to offer in international missions is the kind of modern Christianity that only we can bring, but as I go to Kenya I fully expect to receive the type of Christianity that only God can bring.
 

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