One of those days...

Blog posts are usually reserved for those moments of revelation that come at moments of heightened spiritual understanding... however tonight I realized something that I felt completely necessary to share. I did not have a good day today.  There wasn't really one specific reason for it, I simply woke up in a foul mood.  My foul mood was then received by my ever observant children and then manifested in them as fit throwing, rebellion, excessive crying and mess making.  Thank God I have been given enough insight as a mother to recognize that all these things were a direct result of my original attitude this morning...but that is another post.  Some thoughtful observations lead me to believe that there are a few culprits at the root of my disdain for living today.

1. Stress - I have a lot of homework this week and not a lot of time to devote to it.
2. Self Condemnation - I did not do my pilates Monday and ate more than I should have, there by frustrating myself with myself.
3. Exhaustion - Irresponsibly playing on my new Mac until the wee hours of morning left me with very little sleep
4. Satan - Oh yeah, I am throwing him in the mix. ;) After all, he does like to take advantage of situations just such as this.

So, despite my "quiet" time done amid the morning pleas for diaper changes, breakfast and juuuuice, I was not feeling spiritually refreshed. I was overtired, dreading a day of trying to accomplish homework which meant not accomplishing housework (not much of it anyway), and despite meeting my exercise and eating goals today, still disappointed that I couldn't have a "do over" for Monday.  What I realized tonight however is that all of those things should not equal: grouchy, unattentive, disengaged, threatening, super unfun mommy.  You might be thinking, "DUH", unless of course you have been in my shoes and acted the same way.  So what I am going to take from this lesson is, nothing is as important as the way I am my children's mother, especially for them.  Especially now while they formulate their behavior, and most importantly their role model of Christianity.  So I will fall asleep praying tonight that, when I choose to not do homework tomorrow, I'll trust that God with his infinite grace will help me accomplish it at another time. And I pray that God would forgive me for my ridiculous behavior and bless the time I spend with my babies tomorrow, allowing me to nourish their spirits and exude all the mommy-love I can on them.  And most importantly I pray that I will continue to pray this every day, so that my most important ministry is one that God will see and say "well done, good and faithful servant".