An Aching Heart

Yesterday was my first Sunday as a member of the Healing Room prayer team. During our second service we have a "healing" room available to anyone who needs prayer - physical, mental, spiritual needs. I knew that God was calling me to join this team long ago but finally took the neccessary steps to actively engage doing it.

At a meeting last week it had been announced that they were going to be waiting awhile before adding any new team members but anyone was welcome to come to their training meetings. I knew God had called me to this but I thought maybe it wasn't the right time since they weren't taking anyone new. A few days later the guy in charge of the team called me and asked me to be on the team. I laughed because isn't that just like God? So anyway, I think I cried every time I prayed for someone. My heart was just aching for people. I really feel that God was giving me an open door to feel how His heart felt about these people and situations. It was a good place to be, but also the reality of the broken-hearted was hard to endure. I am so glad God ministers to us in prayer. Even today I heard of two difficult situations, a mother who lost her infant son, the age of my infant son, to pneumonia. And then a Mauritian friend who is a young mother, whose husband is unaccounted for in the Haiti earthquake. I have been praying for both of these women and the situations facing them. My heart is aching today...

I want to be David

Not only is my pastor, Josh Kouri, teaching on David, but David is probably my favorite person in the Bible (after Jesus of course). As I have been learning about David, reading about his life, reading his psalms... I realised how much I want to be David. Aldo and I were talking about him on a 3 hour drive home this week and what unfolded was a great revelation for me, personally, spiritually. David did not create his intense passion for God, his desire to worship and seek God's heart was not born of himself, it was not something he "did" and therefore was rewarded by being the "man after God's own heart". The very key to David's devotion was that he simply understood God. He understood God's enormity, strength, beauty, power, majesty.... simply fully understanding who God is - would result in a life passionately poured out into serving God on every level. As one of my favorite worshippers, Jason Upton, sings, "I have given Jacob's generation, the key of David, intimacy. To open up the doorway to the nations, and release Revelation, of intimacy, with Me." The way I see it - the only way I will ever worship and pursue God on the level that I desire, the level of David, is by intimately knowing Him.

Too Long

It has been TOO long since I posted here. Naturally other things took priority over sitting at the computer typing but still I enjoy it and hope to be more committed to this little blog that probably no one reads but me - which is fine! God has really reached out to me and ministered to me on such a deep level these last months. I had some great counseling with my mother in law before Loic was born September 10th, 2009. I think now that Aldo has really hit rotations in full stride, and I have had my inlaws in house for nearly 6 months, not to mention the holidays, a blizzard, and two puppies...I am so worn out. Mentally, physically, even spiritually. BUT I am so excited to move through the exhaustion, to learn more about how God is perfected in my so obvious weaknesses. As my pastor, Josh Kouri, spoke this morning about suffering well, and using times of difficulty to know God better, I felt God reaching out to me again, reminding me that I DO NOT have it all together, and that it is not even His intention that I do. After all, if I could do it all myself, would I be glorifying Him?

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