Lift me up

I needed the weekend I had. I needed my husband to take a break from studying and just hang out with us. We walked and walked and enjoyed an arts festival. I loved that we could walk to church and God really filled me with peace sunday. I think watching both of my little girls dancing and enjoying worship put things into perspective for me. I want to be content with where I am. I think I am focusing too much on what the future holds and missing the whole point of the present. I am trying to be the best mother I can and in order to do that I need to live in this moment. I still feel at a loss on a day to day basis. I try to do fun things and keep my house in order but I am learning that staying home has sacrifices involved. I feel like I have so much to learn about being an adult, let alone a parent. I am simply sitting under God's grace right now because I feel I am not doing a great job at either of those things.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Aldo and I have started researching associates(mission organizations) of MedSend. MedSend repays medical student loans for people entering long term medical missions. Obviously most associates could use a PA-C (physician assistant) and myself and the kids would travel with Aldo but as I step back and try to think of our future I feel like I have nothing to offer. I know the "pat answer" to my own questions and that where ever we are I will be used but with no skill or formal education in any area I just feel so useless. As I am reading through applications I feel like all I can say is "I am passionate about serving people and I am a mom." Which on paper doesn't seem very appealing in my opinion. I wish I could say, "I can teach" or "I am a nurse". Something with tangible licensure. I know that we are called to serve and I am a firm believer in God taking care of everything, its just my practical, logical self that doesn't see how I will be contributing on the mission field, here or abroad. All I have done is make beautiful babies and be a parent. I feel like I should have some skill or ability to offer...but I don't see what that is right now.

An Introduction

I am not sure why I feel an introduction is necessary but if someone happened upon my blog, I assume they would want to know a little about me in order to understand where I am coming from.

I was born and raised in Oklahoma, the daughter of educators. I had a happy, normal childhood. I am now 25, recently celebrated my 5th anniversary to my wonderful husband, and I have two beautiful little girls and a wonderful third child due in September.

Let me share upfront that I am a follower of Christ. I am passionate about living the Gospel and this entire blog serves to be a place for me to share my experiences as a normal human being, saved by grace, pursuing Jesus.

This is a very small taste of who I am, what I have done and where I am going. If you happened upon this little blog, I encourage you to set aside any preconceived notions you may have of christians and christianity. I will be real here and share my real emotions. I will probably contradict myself, evolve in thought, offend people, etc. I will always be me. The point of this blog is to be a place where I can get it all out and sort through what it means to me to follow Christ and fulfill my purpose on this earth.

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